Life
is lovely and in diversity, we are all unique in our own way. It is this
diversity of life that identifies what’s special for each one of us. By
special, I’m also considering unique aspects of the Homo sapiens man that
exists today. If you believe in
evolution and the fallacy that we’re descendants of one ugly creature that
looks ages, the so called Chimpanzee, then it’s your own belief. I think you’re
supposed to be known as an atheist in civilized English. As for me, I shall not
be likened to a gorilla of sorts and I chose to believe in the unseen. It is
the reason why I believe there is a superior being greater and older than the
evolution theory that you believe in whom I call the Great Supernatural aka
God.
My
argument is simple and goes like this. If you believe we evolved then evolution
started from somewhere. I believe the
superior being behind that evolution theory of yours is one eternal man above
us. He is responsible for the diversity and made us look different and think divergent in our own unique individual way including the appearance of our
bodies. You call it evolution, I call it creation. The Great Supernatural must
have taken all the time at His disposal to create anatomy that He called man.
Unlike the rest of His creation which was brought forth by mere proclamation
‘let there be’ , the Great Supernatural made us with His own palms, upon the
fingertips like a potter would squeeze clay to mould a urn with keenness and
precision and behold, mankind that we are.
However,
evolution thrives in all that is artificial including human lifestyle.
Obliviously, we call it change. Consider anything man made and find out if it
still looks how it used to in eons and you will discover evolution has created
change and a new form is gives prominence. Consider the natural thereafter, the
eternal, like mankind. You will discover we too change but our form still
remains intact. We grow, age and die but we forever remain bipeds, with two
arms, same number of fingers, eyes and all that constitutes human anatomy. One
of the aspects of human kind that I have witnessed evolves or changes as you
may want to call it, is fashion. I have seen them all, the bell bottomed pants
and blockbuster kind of shoes, from the famous North Star sneakers of the
nineties to Moccasins, from Savco
jeans that never worn out to khaki pants and so on. Name them and then look
around and see what now exists around you. They say the only constant in life
is change and I dare not query.
I
have said too much of nothing already. I’m not here to speak about change of
grooming but of the ideal body. While I’m at it, I shall be biased to my
opposite gender, the other mankind called a woman, the womankind. I’m a very
chalant being who loves observing my surroundings. Simply, I make use of my
eyes to the maximum. I have been observing the change of the ideal fashion of
an ideal woman body size. When I was younger, I thought, at least I was made to
think and believe that the ideal body size of a woman was akin to a telephone
mast. I heard this was fashionable and passed modeling, the skinny but with a
glowing face and long hair. Before I could get myself one of those, another
womankind was on offer. The so called “Coca Cola” bottle shaped breed, the size
eight I heard. The ideal size eight was supposed to be meaty around her torso,
the breast area adopting the “Coca Cola” bottle shape proceeding downwards
suddenly adding more meat around her bottom appearing plumper in this vital
area. This defined the size eight. Again I thought and was made to believe I
should drool for this one but change made evolution and didn’t give me a
chance. I thought the womankind had accepted being size eight until I turned on
my television the other day.
I
watch a lot of television. It’s like my library. I consume of it and one day
while I was flipping to and fro, channel to channel, I stumbled upon something
interesting, well, on a channel I stumbled upon. It is a channel that I would
ordinarily not be watching because I eat not of its content. It doesn’t auger
well with my television diet so my appetite for it on this day was erroneous.
Note that I used the word ‘stumbled’ but being a man, what I saw aroused my
curiosity and suddenly an appetite for the content was rife. What I stumbled
upon made me think and realized the womankind has evolved further and is now on
a ledge while the man, the male kind was still in the ages of the atheists.
Besides the fact that the ideal African woman
has been eroded by an urge if not obsession that defeats African sense, is now
adopting a foreign culture which commands her to turn her dark and beautiful
color of an ideal African woman to something that now seems alien to me, right
into the murky culture of the white woman. The African woman is under the
influence, in fact drunk, of the western culture and has now decided to paint
herself with an undercoat, a primer and a main course of alienation over her
original skin. I see them with colored faces. By colored, I mean any other color
besides her original color of black and beautiful. I look and analyze her
closely and discover that her elbows, knuckles, ankles and wrists have denied
her the ‘privilege’ of truly converting herself to a white womankind.
Now,
going back to what I stumbled upon, on this channel that I shall not name
because I do not want to annoy anybody who subscribes to it, a program dubbed
‘Ten over Ten’ was on air. On this ‘auspicious’ occasion, what was being ranked
were a collection of top Kenyan celebrities of the womankind species with super
drum size buttocks aka bottoms alias butts. I had no idea that having much of
your body weight upon your waist and appearing meaty with a protruding mass of
bum meant something if at all you belonged to the species of womankind. I hear,
well, just hearsay, not that I know, bums are now the ‘assets’ that make the
ideal womankind tick and thus how mammoth a size, the better. Again, I hear,
not that I know, some celebrity of womankind have an insurance cover for their
precious bums. They say, not only are their bums precious in attracting their
other half in the name of man, the male kind, into their lair but also are a source of
livelihood prompting an insurance cover earmarked upon them. I halt and engage
my mind into thought to crack the puzzle on how these ‘assets’ earn a
livelihood for the carrier. I thought if I knew how, I could make a side hustle
with my own bum. I thought too could use my butt to make a few bucks for myself
and buy an insurance policy for them until I cracked the puzzle.
Amidst
deep thought, then I discovered for one, my butt could not pass an insurance
valuation for the simple reason mine is minuet and handful. Secondly, and the
most important, I realized I belong to a different species other than the womankind.
I discovered I’m the male kind. Thirdly, I realized that in all insurance
policies, a risk is involved and I failed to come up with a risk that my butt
would possibly encounter in my lifetime. I couldn’t pinpoint any. I therefore
concluded that my bum was too useless for an insurance cover and I realized it
cannot fetch even a single nickel for self. I also concluded that my bum had only two
applications since time immemorial. One of them is sitting and the other is
alimentary related.
I’m
told, so I hear, that bums of a womankind have a price tag upon them to appear
in one of those lewd music videos which showcase themselves in the same channel
that I had stumbled upon. I agree, without iota of doubt in my mind because the
music videos that followed after the ‘Ten over Ten’ program was over, were
awash of super drum size, semi groomed bums all of the origin of womankind and
largely of the African descent while the men, the male kind clad fully in
designer suits with the best of the best of designer labels.
I’m
also told, so I hear, that men are after these plus size bums during these
trying times. This is enough evidence of the devil dinning with us. It is
enough proof that Lucifer walks on this planet we domicile and bequeathed to us
in good order and sanity by the Great Supernatural. I’m also told so I
hear, the demand for super drum size bums of womankind origin
is so overwhelming that entrepreneurs are cashing in on artificial bums in form
of huge spongy soft pads that are supposed to be stuffed beneath the pants of
these mega ‘butts’. I then suddenly realized the mega super drum ‘butts’ I see gait in the streets of Nairobi
might actually be fake, only stuffed with something that substitutes what is
real. Suddenly, everything now makes sense and it’s now clear a new idol is in
town, Butt Almighty! If I said I was not worried about the current breed of
African womankind, I would be lying. I’m so worried! In fact, I shiver of
worry!
Compiled by tickler
Son of ‘the unquenched’
Kevin Murungi
murungikevin@yahoo.com
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